How I spent my saturday

by Ben

00:00

Not even home yet. Lol are you joking? Are you like 85 years old? Here is a picture of me at this time:

02:21

Shit I’m way too trashed to drive. Oh well I’m sure I’ll be fine. Here is a picture of me at this time:

11:56

I begin to feel vaguely alive. I can’t be positive since my dreams involved me going on a foot trek in Indonesia but then a volcano happened and everyone melted. Also I was black in my dream, but when I wake up and look in the mirror I am definitely white. I begin to think someone might have slipped me drugs when I wasn’t paying attention. Here is a picture of me at this time:

11:58

I am certain drugs were involved. I finally stop puking and decide that since I’m up I might as well hang out with my morning wood. Here is a picture of me at this time:

14:33

I think I might do some work and I sit at my computer. Instead I decide to make cookies and so I do. Then I eat them while watching roflvids on Youtube. Here is a picture of me at this time:

23:17

I am so tired and it feels like I’ve been repeatedly kneed in my scrotum. I think that is from the drugs that someone gave me. I also become apathetic and decide to go do something else instead of writing anything more. Here is a picture of me at this time:

23:59

I realize that I forgot to click the post button, so I do that and then go back to watching agalmatophilia¬†porn. No picture because I don’t want to share that kind of imagery with you.

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