I bought my first music in seven years; iTunes can fucking lick a gooch

by Ben

So I have a raging mancrush for Lindsey Stirling, and since she just released three studio tracks I absolutely need them. Well guess what? It’s only available on iTunes (trust me, I checked literally every other avenue of obtainment). As life and/or fate would have it, Apple and their fuckhead products are as overhyped and ridiculous as the entire Disney lineup. Instead of “protecting artists and copyrights” with this DRM, all they’ve done is assure anyone with the intelligence above a retarded infant will never use their shit. All I wanted to do was actually pay for music and support an artist; I didn’t, however want to have my enjoyment stymied by downloading a 70mb program (twice, actually, since it auto-downloads the 32-bit version), being bombarded with a truckload of propaganda, having to enter all my data through a program and not a secure web portal, and worst of all not being allowed to listen to my PURCHASED PRODUCTS ON MY OWN FUCKING MP3 PLAYER. I suppose it never occurred to Apple and their legions of brainless, retarded fanboys that most people don’t, in fact, own a goddamn iPod.

Guess what dumbasses: you’re wrong. Apple products are overpriced brand-name items with less functionality than off-the-shelf things you could pick up on Amazon for a tenth of the price.

Grow a brain asshats.

In other news, “Lindsey Stomp EP” is totally worth three bucks. And no, I’m not playing it in iTunes nor do I ever intend to. Go lick a gooch. In fact, have a suck of Ron Jeremy’s uncleansed grundle.

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